fix(query-core): make sure we don't invoke select too often when using placeholderData (#9007)

* fix(query-core): make sure we don't invoke select too often when using placeholderData

* ref: run through placeholderData first, then through

this helps us memoizing select calls, and we can get rid of some duplication around how select is called again after placeholderData

* chore: skip-nx-cache attempt

* test: increase timeout

* chore: re-enable caching