Fix detecting changed events (#9050)

* Fix detecting changed events

Because `this._listeners` may contain both event handlers from options and internal event handlers for responsive support, the `setsEqual` check would often fail, causing event handlers to be unnecessarily detached and reattached and fired.

If I'm understanding correctly, this is the root cause of #9049.

* Use a separate object for responsive listeners

Correctly update events when responsive property changes as well as when requested events change.

* Code review feedback