feat(build): adjust number of parallel make jobs (#1915)

* feat(build): adjust number of parallel make jobs

* fix: update make on MacOS from brew to support --output-sync argument

* fix: cache grpc with version as part of key to improve validity of cache hits

* fix: use gmake for tests-apple to use the updated GNU make version

* fix: actually use the new make version for tests-apple

* feat: parallelize tests-extra

* feat: attempt to cache grpc build for docker images

* fix: don't quote GRPC version

* fix: don't cache go modules, we have limited cache space, better used elsewhere

* fix: release with the same version of go that we test with

* fix: don't fail on exporting cache layers

* fix: remove deprecated BUILD_GRPC docker arg from Makefile