gh-133005: Support `tarfile.open(mode="w|xz", preset=...)` (GH-133007)

* gh-133005: Support `tarfile.open(mode="w|xz", preset=...)`

Support passing the `preset` option to `tarfile.open` when the file
is open with `mode="w|xz"`.  This aligns the behavior with `"w:xz"`
mode.

* Also raise an error for `compresslevel` or `preset` with wrong mode

Raise an error if `compresslevel` or `preset` argument is specified
for stream mode with incorrect compression. This should reduce the risk
of mistakes and align the stream modes with regular modes, that raise
an implicit TypeError on unsupported arguments.

* Apply suggestions from code review

Co-authored-by: Brian Schubert <brianm.schubert@gmail.com>