[3.13] gh-124043: Disallow mixing `--with-trace-refs` and `--disable-gil` (GH-124078) (#124138)

gh-124043: Disallow mixing `--with-trace-refs` and `--disable-gil` (GH-124078)

Tracing references is not currently thread-safe in the free-threaded build.
(cherry picked from commit 3b45df03a4bd0e21edec43144b8d9bac689d23a0)

Co-authored-by: Peter Bierma <zintensitydev@gmail.com>