[3.13] gh-131045: [Enum] fix flag containment checks when using values (GH-131053) (#131167)

gh-131045: [Enum] fix flag containment checks when using values (GH-131053)

Check would fail if value would create a pseudo-member, but that member
had not yet been created.  We now attempt to create a pseudo-member for
a passed-in value first.
(cherry picked from commit 17d06aeb5476099bc1acd89cd6f69e239e0f9350)

Co-authored-by: Ethan Furman <ethan@stoneleaf.us>
Co-authored-by: Tomas R. <tomas.roun8@gmail.com>