[compiler] Allow manual dependencies to have different optionality than inferred deps (#35186)

Since adding this validation we've already changed our inference to use
knowledge from manual memoization to inform when values are frozen and
which values are non-nullable. To align with that, if the user chooses
to use different optionality btw the deps and the memo block/callback,
that's fine. The key is that eg `x?.y` will invalidate whenever `x.y`
would, so from a memoization correctness perspective its fine. It's not
our job to be a type checker: if a value is potentially nullable, it
should likely use a nullable property access in both places but
TypeScript/Flow can check that.

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[//]: # (BEGIN SAPLING FOOTER)
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with [ReviewStack](https://reviewstack.dev/facebook/react/pull/35186).
* #35201
* #35202
* #35192
* #35190
* __->__ #35186